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[personal profile] froodle
The man from the Eerie Dairy stared into the chocolate-brown eyes of the calf that stood unsteadily on the other side of the fence. A little way off, Cloud Sheep bobbed uneasily on tethers of glittering twine that was all that kept them anchored to the earth.

"He belongs to us," he said. "The Dairy has dominion over all milk-related products, and that includes mysteriously glowing green cows made from mint ice-cream."

"Does it," said Farmer Ephraim Chambers, his tone studiedly neutral. "Got a precedent for this, have you?"

The man from the Eerie Dairy smiled.

"We will, in time."

Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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[personal profile] froodle
"You know me," said the Mayor. "Light-touch regulation only. I keep the taxes low, I make sure the milk floats have enough engine power to catch a fleeing teenage boy, and once every thirteen years I organise a single camping trip that inevitably has one fatality."

He paused for a moment, considering.

"You know, I think that gives me a better safety record than the Boy Scouts," he added. "Maybe I should make that a talking point for my next campaign."

Radford scoffed, poured them both another glass.

"I don't know why you bother," he said. "Nobody runs against you."

Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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[personal profile] froodle
The people who lived their lives in one long linear stretch, going from birth to death and hitting some or most or even all of the usual miletones along the way referred to it as "borrowed time". In the Milkman's view, that was a misnomer of such scale that it bordered on fraudulent.

This was stolen time. It was stolen from drive-in theatre owners watching their margins dwindle to nothing, from confused cows giving out confused milk, and from everyone who spent November to March just a little out of sync with their surroundings.

He glared up at the clocktower.

Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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[personal profile] froodle
The Milkman stepped carefully among the dandelion clocks, alert to any careless movement or stray gust of wind that would scatter little white-headed bombs of frozen time out onto the breeze.

Left unattended, they might drift skywards to land on some unprotected soul, flinging them a hundred years into the past, or forward to an unknowable future, or condemn them to a year in an empty land that both was and was not Eerie Indiana.

He could see now why the Riding Mower Dads hated the weed so much that they dedicated whole Saturdays to eradicating it from their lawns.

Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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[personal profile] froodle
"So," said Simon, sitting at the Teller's kitchen table with a plate of bacon and eggs arranged to look like a smiley face in front of him. "Do you think the message really did come from future-you, or do you think it was another of your evil Doppelgangers trying to trick you again?"

"I'm not sure," said Marshall, rubbing his eyes and wondering if he could sneak a pot of coffee before his parents caught me. "I asked my Dad if the other me had a goatee, and he just laughed and said not to rush growing up too much."

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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Ongoing Verse: Teller Family History

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[personal profile] froodle
"All I'm saying," said the Milkman, who had already said considerably more than that and who, Marshall felt, was in increasing danger of being forcibly fed his own wares until he drowned in them if he didn't shut up this minute, "Is that if your body naturally wakes you up at five, maybe you should consider it a sign."

"A sign," said Marshall flatly. "A sign that I should deliver milk."

"Early mornings are a perk of the job," said the Milkman.

"If you're me," said Marshall, "You must know that I'd never consider that a perk."

"Maybe not yet."

Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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[personal profile] froodle
Marshall rolled over in bed, bleary eyes seeking out the glowing red numbers of his digital alarm clock.

5:17 a.m.

He groaned, softly but with a great deal of feeling, all of it negative.

Far too early on a workday to get up, not if he wanted to be functional at the office. Too late for further sleep to do anything but render him groggy and disorientated when his alarm finally did go off.

The worst of both worlds.

He closed his eyes, willing his brain to shut off. If he didn't remember waking, it didn't count, right?

Right?

Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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[personal profile] froodle
Marshall scanned the contract, a jeweller's loupe close at hand should there be any suspiciously small-print sections. He stopped at the sight of one particularly long string of digits.

"What's this?" he asked. "This figure here."

The Milkman from Human Resources glanced over.

"Oh, that's your annual leave," he said.

Marshall looked again. The number was significantly longer than three hundred and sixty five, even accounting for leap years.

The Milkman from Human Resources seemed to follow his train of thought, because he elaborated:

"It accrues with every month of service. Our records indicate that you'll work here continuously with us until the age of 117, barring a short sabbatical involving inter-dimensional travel, a possible cure for lycanthropy that turns out to be a false lead, and a single very angry cactus, which was pre-authorised and therefore did not affect your holiday entitlement."

"Cactus Cat?" Marshall asked, and the Milkman from Human Resources glanced down at his notes.

"No," he said. "Aside from occasional overly-aggressive skewering of people's shins in search of scritches, the Cactus Cat lives a long and peaceable life with one Simon Holmes."

"Oh," said Marshall. "I'll be sure to let Simon know. He'll be pleased."

He looked again at the number. It was still very large, but then, 117 was very old...

"You'll use it all up shortly before your 111th birthday," said the Milkman from Human Resources. "I'd tell you this to give you the chance to ration it and avoid that outcome, but I'm afraid it's inevitable."

Marshall thought about it.

"I'm not sure I want to work my last six years without any time off," he said.

The Milkman from Human Resources turned some pages.

"It appears that you and Management come to an agreement about that," he said. "The details are confidential."

Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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[personal profile] froodle
The blender whirred, and what had been a pint of chocolate fudge ice cream and the world's tiniest handful of frozen strawberries jumped and spun and gradually turned a lighter shade of brown as Marshall slowly added the milk.

On the carton, a little girl with heavy eye makeup and a tall Elvira-style wig waved frantically, but by now ignoring the Dairy's lost children had become second nature.

The blender abruptly changed pitch, and Marshall cursed, realising he'd knocked the settings onto "frappe". The milkshake vanished, the mix replaced by a frothing black hole that clawed at the jug's edges.

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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Ongoing Verse: Teller Family History

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[personal profile] froodle
After a hundred and five and a half years, the Milkman had experienced many things, witnessed even more, and thought that he'd have an appropriate response to most.

This, however, was a new one.

"What?" he asked, half-expecting that after over a century of running, time - and senility - had finally caught up with him.

"I said," Melanie repeated, with what was for her a remarkable display of patience, "Can you bend time so that I never have to preheat an oven ever again?"

It was such a Melanie Monroe sort of question that all the Milkman could do was laugh.

Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
The time canoe had discovered the car's ability to take on human form, and now it was jealous and refusing to work. Marshall Teller, his socks both damp and temporally displaced due to an overflowing time stream that was somehow leaking out from under the shower tray, took a deep breath and tried to remain calm.

"Nobody's saying you can't be a person," he said, stepping backwards to avoid a spreading puddle of soda whose brand name was unknown to anyone born before 2047. "If you want, after this we can go to the Eerie Mall and do all kinds of cool people things. But for there to be an 'after', there needs to first of all be a right now, and right now our kitchen sink is overflowing with the space-time continuum and the contents of the laundry hamper is being used to soak up misplaced probabilities, and-"

He realised he was shouting and lowered his voice.

"And so right now what I really, really need is a time canoe, a linear paddle, and for you to let me tie this dino-proof twine around your centreline."

The time canoe flickered, sulkily, as it phased back into reality.

"Thank you."

Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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[personal profile] froodle
It was cold, and the sky outside was a sickly yellow-brown that heralded a coming storm. The tinkling chime of a hundred ice-cream trucks rose above the high-pitched shriek of the wind, and the excited clamour of children rushing out into the street to buy frozen treats with spare change begged from indulgent parents drowned out both.

Marshall kicked the door closed behind him, struggling to hold onto three extra-large cones that smelled like summer and dripped like a coming thaw.

"Back in Jersey, the ice-cream trucks come around on hot days," he commented, handing them 'round.

"Weird," said Simon.

Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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Ongoing Verse: Weather

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[personal profile] froodle
Mayor Winston Chisel walked through the cool high-vaulted rooms of his wine cellar, the only illumination the faint red glow cast by the climate control system. He needed no light to find his way through this twisting maze of dust-coated bottles and vast wine butts in which his one-time political rivals were slowly pickling.

The ostentatious gold pocket watch tucked into his well-tailored but hideously-patterned waistcoat chimed softly. He took hold of the heavy, glittering chain, lifted it to his eyes. The shimmering mother-of-pearl clockface had no hands and no markings, but the Mayor grimaced. Time he was going, then.

Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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[personal profile] froodle
As if on cue, it began to rain. Lightly at first, then heavier, quickly becoming a deluge that poured from a blue and cloudless sky.

Melanie glanced up, feeling the blessedly cool water on her face and bare arms.

"Looks like the boss lady managed to convince Wally," she said.

Sara Sue nodded, using her free hand to push her long hair back even as the hand holding the pencil never stopped moving. Her clothes were quickly becoming soaked, but the sketchpad open on rapidly-dampening knees remained bone-dry.

Melanie reached into her utility belt, checking for the extra pair of socks.

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Weather

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Ongoing Verse: Teller Family History

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Sara Sue didn't reply to this, only ducked her head in a way that made the thick honey-gold sweep of her hair fall over her face.

Melanie knew from experience that the gesture meant she was uncomfortable, although whether it was from being asked to perform her own particular brand of Eerie strangeness in the middle of a heat-trap caused by cursed and shiny rocks or from the compliment was anyone's guess.

She decided to let it go, for now.

"What can I get you?" she asked instead.

"Another water would be great," Sara Sue said, flashing her a half-smile.

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Ongoing Verse: Teller Family History

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[personal profile] froodle
"Whatever those crystals are doing to the people trapped in there, it's messing up the passage of time," Sara Sue explained. "It's been hours for us, but it might have been weeks or even months for them."

Melanie watched the shadowed hand on the sundial spin across the numbers etched around it. She sucked in a breath.

"Can you-"

"I don't know if I can draw back the time they've lost," Sara Sue told her. "To be honest, I'm not even sure I can sketch them free."

"Syndi thinks you can," said Melanie. "And she's usually right on the money."

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Ongoing Verse: Teller Family History

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[personal profile] froodle
"Seriously," Melanie persisted. "You've been at it for hours. This place is making me nauseous, and you don't have a second soul to help absorb some of the heat."

Sara Sue unscrewed the cap on the bottle and took a long pull, then wiped the sweating plastic across her flushed face. She pointed the eraser-tipped end of her pencil at the sundial set in the centre of the crystal-ringed clearing, the equivalent of someone gesturing with the butt of a gun rather than the barrel.

"Look," she said, her voice hoarse.

Melanie looked. The sundial was wreathed in moving shadows.

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Ongoing Verse: Teller Family History

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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[personal profile] froodle
The Muffin Man was at least eight feet tall, it's body warm to the touch, oozing butter and studded through with huge chunks of half-melted chocolate.

"Oh," said Tod, craning his neck to look at the spot where two equidistant dark splodges might indicate the presence of eyes. "I suppose the Grandmas sent you?"

The Muffin Man raised it's fist, chocolate chips coating the outer edges like edible knuckledusters. It growled like the churn of an industrial mixer.

Tod closed his eyes. He'd wanted to die in a mosh pit, suspected he'd die via milk-truck. At least this was different.

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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[personal profile] froodle
The day dawned, wet and overcast. The rain, which had started the previous afternoon and hadn't let up since, was now so heavy that the drops falling on the hard asphalt almost sounded like someone knocking.

On the fourth floor of a run-down apartment building, the lights were on. The windows were open just a little, and the Milkman knew it was to let in the sound and smell of the rain. He caught the scent of coffee and bacon, and the faint, muted roar of the MGM lion.

He smiled, remembering that day the first time around. Good times.

Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Weather

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[personal profile] froodle
One of the Time-o-Saurs had broken loose, tearing through a weak point in the net of dino-proof twine that held their reality separate from what Marshall still, despite everything, thought of as "regular Eerie."

The first thing it had done was come for the time canoe, still stored at the very back of the cupboard under the stairs in Marshall's parents' house.

Luckily, the regular canoe his dad had bought under the influence of The Donald's subliminal advertising had acted as an accidental decoy, and the Time-o-Saur had left clutching it's worthless orange prize, leaving their secret weapon behind it.

Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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Ongoing Verse: Teller Family History

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[personal profile] froodle
It wasn't that the Garbage Men were faster than she was, Janet thought, bounding through drifts of red-gold leaf litter that layered the forest floor in a crunching, crackling blanket of noisy traitors.

It was just that, as the arbiters of all that was correct and orderly in matters of time and space, they knew exactly where she would be at any given moment.

She pushed up the sleeve of her oversized sweater, checked the three watches strapped there. Clock-faces of sea-glass and sand stared back, unnumbered, handless and blank.

Janet knew she had to get back to the lake.

Ongoing Verse: Janet

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: The Children

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[personal profile] froodle
The sun had risen hours ago, and though it was still early in the morning by every single one of Marshall's watches, the heat in his bedroom was stifling.

He rose, flinging off the thin coverlet with it's hand-scrawled mathematical notations designed to induce a deep sleep while also keeping the Sandman's gritty fingers out of the sleeper's dreams. Apparently it's protective qualities didn't do anything to combat the lack of air conditioning.

When he pulled back the curtains, the light outside speared through the glass like one of Algernon the Invincible's finishing moves. Marshall ducked back, cursing the summer.

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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Ongoing Verse: Teller Family History

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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[personal profile] froodle
The man from the Eerie Dairy unloaded a crate of single-serve milk cartons onto the cracked linoleum in front of the Eeriemat's vending machine.

The thin chain around his neck jangled with a hundred keys of varying size and shapes, but his fingers sought and found the right one almost without conscious thought.

"Looks like this thing's working out well for you," he said to the boy behind the counter, whose smile was penny-bright in the light of the overhead fluorescents. "Second time this week that you've needed a restock ."

The boys' eyes gleamed like silver dollars and he nodded.

Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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[personal profile] froodle
The bonfire blazed, flames licking up two or three times the height of a man, bright against the darkening blue of the oncoming night.

It was midwinter, and the old year was burning away in twisting coils of red and orange and sometimes white in the places where someone (probably the Bobs) had poured petrol over the carefully-arranged layers of old pallets at the base of the pyre.

The ForeverWare Ladies stood nearby, heat-resistant cups empty and lidless in one hand, tight-fitting rubber seals in the other. Tonight they would catch the last sparks of the year, and preserve them.

Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Christmas

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Ongoing Verse: The Children

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Ongoing Verse: Pay Attention

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[personal profile] froodle
"So," she said, once she was back in her seat with a sufficiently-doctored drink in front of her. "What am I doing here?"

"I'm not entirely sure," the Milkman confessed. "This is my sixty-seventh-and-a-half go 'round and I can't tell if I'm trapped in a time-loop and pulling you in or if it's the other way around. For all I know, it might even be something else entirely."

Janet thought about this, one hand absently tapping a long column of ash away from a cigarette that had burned all the way down much faster than it should.

"Hmm," she said.


Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
The three-eyed cow painted on the side of the milk truck stared at Janet as she approached, the bovine grin wide and leering, a single cornstalk clutched between wide, blunt teeth.

The Milkman had told Janet she'd be safe, and weighing the risks of trusting him against her dislike of black coffee, she'd decided to risk it. She'd encountered the occasional evil Marshall before, but to a one they'd all sported goatees and were therefore pretty easy to avoid.

Still, she breathed a little easier once she was back inside, a tall glass bottle of half-and-half cool in her hands.


Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
One of the good things about the abandoned realities, Janet reflected, was the way entropy just... stopped working.

The unopened bag of Dark Gods' Darkest Roast Ground Coffee was as fresh as if it had been stored in ForeverWare, the water from the tap in he kitchen ran cold and clear, and the packet of filters were white, crisp and untroubled by dust despite having sat on the shelf for Corn-knew how long.

"Thanks," said the Milkman, as she slid a mug across the spotless tabletop towards him. "There's milk and stuff in the back of the truck, if you want."


Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
"Thanks for the heads up," Janet said wryly. "Did any of the other me's manage to figure it out?"

The Milkman pulled a sheet of paper from the breast pocket of his crisp white uniform. The ink on it was fresh enough to smudge slightly under his fingers, but the paper was yellow-brown and brittle with age. He handed it over.

"Huh," said Janet. "Somewhere between seventy-eight and eighty-three, allowing for time dilation caused by loose twine on the time canoe. And apparently I'm not to ask Mister Radford for his age under any circumstances."

"Seems wise," agreed the Milkman.


Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
Janet lit up, pausing for a moment to savour the taste of tobacco and nicotine while she inspected the latest (relatively speaking) version of Marshall.

He was old, but not as old as he'd been the first (second?) time she'd met him as the Milkman. Older than her parents and most of the teachers at school. Somewhere around Mister Radford's age, or at least around the age that Radford presented himself as.

"You'll only get a headache," the Milkman warned her. "One of the other you's even passed out trying to work it out. Gave herself a nosebleed and concussion."


Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
"Sorry!" this version of Marshall repeated. "I didn't want to turn on the light in case someone was watching the Baitshop and caught me hiding out here."

"It's okay," Janet lied, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a crumpled packet of cigarettes. She placed one between her lips, then paused.

"Is this one of the empty realities? I don't want to smoke in here if another one of me is going to catch hell for it somewhere along the timeline."

"You're good," the Milkman assured her. "This iteration's been abandoned since the timestream flooded a hundred years from now."

Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
"It's been a while," said a voice behind her, and Janet shrieked and whirled, her fingers catching the crisp linen of the shroud and pulling it loose behind her.

The Milkman held up liver-spotted hands in a gesture of apology she recognised from his regular-time counterpart.

"Sorry!" he said. "Sorry! Didn't mean to startle you."

Janet bent over, breathing deeply as she fought both the pounding of her much-abused heart and the urge to go over there and smack him.

"Marshall," she gasped eventually. "Whichever iteration you're from, please tell the rest of yourselves to never, ever do that again."


Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
The lights were off in here too, and all the blinds were down.

The long glass counter where the desserts were displayed was empty, a sheet drawn over the curved surface that wound like an eel across one side of the building.

Janet, who had often wondered about the efficiency of that particular design choice, felt a pang of sorrow at seeing it hollowed-out and shrouded. Sure, it had made scooping ice-cream into a nightmare of wasted time and motion, but it had style.

Now it lay like a dead thing washed up by the tide, unloved, unremarkable, and long-forgotten.


Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
Easing the door closed behind her with the toe of one sneaker-clad foot, Janet looked around.

That was when she realised that the Baitshop was completely dark; no ruddy glow from the lights above the walk-in refrigerator, no steadily blinking row of yellow power-on buttons from the generator, no nauseating swirl of other-worldly colours from the bowl of stagnant water where the Old Ones who owned the restaurant left messages for their human underlings.

Guided by pure muscle memory, she picked her way around prep tables unscarred by a hundred knives and thousands of waving tentacles, and entered the dining-room.


Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
Before the door could open too wide, silhouetting her against the growing brightness of the morning and making her an easy target for whatever might lurk in the shadows beyond, Janet grabbed the handle and pulled it to her, pressing herself tight against the peeling paint and standing very still.

The metal of the doorknob was blessedly cool against her sweating palm and she breathed deep, inhaling the familiar smells of old wood and older blood. In the dark interior of the Baitshop's cramped and low-ceilinged kitchen, nothing moved.

Janet counted a slow one-hundred, followed by another, then stepped inside.


Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
The back door was still locked, and the wards she'd drawn in blood and meat when locking up the night before were still in place. Janet's hands shook as she selected the gleaming silver key from the heavy ring at her waist and slid it into the great padlock securing the chain over the staff entrance.

There was a soft click as the tumblers engaged and the chains slid away, well-oiled metal rattling as Janet pulled it from a complicated warding sigil and wound it into a neat coil with practised ease. She pushed the door and it swung inwards.


Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
The long glass tanks where the nigiri were bred and raised were empty.

Someone had cleaned them thoroughly, removing blood stains and tidemarks and the little men in diving suits Janet had placed there to amuse the new hatchlings. Scrubbed and gleaming and utterly devoid of rice-pebbled, tentacle-y life, they sat upturned beneath a tight-stretched canopy of tarpaulin set to keep off the rain.

Jane felt sick. She'd hand-reared some of those sushi, fed them rice wine and pickled ginger, wrapped them tenderly in long strips of seaweed when the Baitshop closed and it was time settle down at night.


Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
If Fred was around, he didn't answer. Janet put one hand against the listing and salt-stained timbers of the Baitshop, the other pressed over her hammering heart, and breathed deep.

"It doesn't mean anything," she told herself. Fred often lost himself in the depths of his most recent impersonation, refusing to answer to any name other than the one he'd currently adopted, even when he'd neglected to inform his coworkers just what that name might be.

She made her way to the rear of the little shack, fumbling in her bag for the heavy ring of keys as she went.


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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
By the time Janet reached the Baitshop, it's doors locked and warded and it's windows dark within wooden frames marked with a hundred blood-spattered charms to prevent incursion, panic was well and truly setting in.

The wooden paddle boats were moored to the rotting wood of the pier, arranged neatly in a way that almost never happened during these long, hectic days of summer when the tourists wanted the lake and the lake - and the things that lived in it - could hardly wait to eat the tourists.

"Fred?" she called, her voice trembling and the volume scarcely above a whisper.


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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
The rows of large houses on large lots stood dark against the rising sun, uncurtained windows staring blankly at her like the gaze of some huge, uncomprehending beast of concrete and whitewash.

The Riding Mower Dads were always up by now, the grinding, whining roar of their shiny red mowers waking wives and children who must surely wish them dead every weekend.

Maybe the city had finally passed that "shut the fuck up" by-law. Maybe those coiffed wives in their Sunday best had poisoned their husbands in an attempt to get some peace.

Or maybe she'd slipped out of time...


Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
The streets were quiet this early in the morning, and Janet didn't like it. Yes, it was a little after five a.m. on a Sunday, and surely no sane people would be on the move at this hour, but still.

She passed the large drain with it's buckled grating where the Sewer Clowns often congregated, thrusting waterlogged funnel cake and half-dissolved candyfloss at passers-by in an attempt to lure them to their doom, but couldn't find so much as a smear of greasepaint or a thread of synthetic red hair.

Maybe they were having a lie-in, she thought, heart pounding.


Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Janet

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[personal profile] froodle
"That kind of statement is exactly why you're going to pay us our asking price," said Simon, pulling out a notebook and flipping it to a page marked with a neon orange sticky note.

"One, because you don't realise that the Ratking can and will discorporate into individual rats if it thinks that will give it a better chance of survival, for example when it falls off a mountainside and needs to be small and agile rather than large and imposing."

He reached for the invoice and turned it around so that it once again faced the Mayor, tapping the first line on the page.

"Two, for failing to realise that breaking an unsteady truce with a hive-mind composed of vermin would result in swift and immediate retribution from every crawling thing in the immediate vicinity."

He tapped the second indented line.

"And third, for living up to your name by trying to chisel us out of a previously agreed fee, again."

He tapped the third line, the one with the largest price tag, then slid the open notebook over the gleaming wood to rest beside it.

Chisel glanced at the rough hand-drawn grid with it's scrawled annotations and laughed.

"Shitty customer bingo," he said. "I believe I sense Mister Teller's hand at work."

"You should be proud," Simon told him, straight-faced. "He made you the central square."

The Mayor looked closer.

"Delightful," he said, and almost seemed to mean it.

He pushed the notebook back towards Simon, then turned to a small sideboard on which a crystal decanter stood alongside three matching tumblers. The crisp lines of his navy-blue suit jacket blocked Simon's view as he fiddled with something on it, before turning back with a glass in one hand and a personalised seal in the other.

He pressed the stamp into the paper, which immediately began to blacken and char as a red liquid that was almost certainly not ink spread out from beneath the edges of the seal, filling the room with the smell of burning and the faint sound of remembered screams.

"Drop that with my secretary on your way out," he told Simon. "He'll see to it that you're paid in full."

He took a sip from the glass.

"Aren't you going to offer me one?" asked Simon, gesturing at the uncorked bottle.

Chisel raised an eyebrow.

"You would almost certainly think I was trying to poison you," he said.

"I would," Simon nodded. "I just wanted to see if you'd push it."

Chisel shook his head.

"Mister Holmes," he said. "It remains one of my greatest regrets that you've chosen not to avail yourself of the employment opportunities offered by my office. We could do great things."

Simon stood, taking the stained and still-screaming sheet of paper by a single untouched corner.

"I could do great things for you, you mean," he said. "And in return, you'd take the credit and then, one day, my face."

"It's a trustworthy face," the Mayor agreed, pleasantly.


Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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Ongoing Verse: Microwave

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[personal profile] froodle
Simon cleared a spot in one corner of the long workbench that ran along the northern wall of the attic and set the food down.

"Cookies," said Marshall. "Nice."

"We should save some for the goblin market," Simon suggested. "It won't be safe to eat or drink any of the food there, and we know the fairies will give us a good price for chocolate, butter and sugar."

"Good idea," said Marshall. "Looks like they already cursed the Dairy, so the going rate for butter will be even higher than usual."

He opened one of the many small drawers below the Evidence Locker and rummaged around in it for a few seconds.

"Sandwich bags," he said, holding up a slippery handful of the re-sealable receptacles. "Break each cookie into quarters and pack them all separately. We'll use them as currency."

Simon held one up.

"They're pretty big," he said. "Maybe eighths?"

Marshall nodded.

"Save two for us, though," he said. "If the Milkmen and the Goblin Market go to war, Mom might be using margarine for the next few batches. I don't want to miss out."

Simon selected the two largest, most chocolate-chip-studded specimens, and set them to one side.

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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Ongoing Verse: Teller Family History

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[personal profile] froodle
"Simon here," he said. "That you, Mars? Over."

Marshall's voice was garbled by static and, Simon suspected, the need to replace the batteries in his walkie before much longer. is excitement still came through clear.

"It's me," he said. "I've triple-checked everything, and I am absolutely sure that the goblin market is tonight. Can you tell your folks you're studying at mine for the whole day so we can get ready? Over."

They both knew Simon's parents wouldn't be interested either way, but the Tellers would always ask and Simon hated lying to them.

"Sure thing," Simon promised. "I don't think they're home right now, but I'll leave them a note and be right over. Um, over," he added awkwardly.

"Great," said Marshall, through the clicking, buzzing noise of Eerie's background weirdness trying to piggyback on their signal. "I think I've got most of what we need. Bring a pen."

Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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[personal profile] froodle
Simon turned to the back of the calendar, a thick sheet of unremarkable grey card meant only to provide purchase and stability to the rest of the pages. He lifted it, unsurprised to see that month's entry in front of him, eleven more pages stacked behind it.

He ran his index finger lightly across the list of days and dates, stopping at one circled in red. The Goblin Market.

His walkie-talkie bleeped, the sound muffled by the crumpled bedsheets that had all but buried it. Simon hurried over and shoved the bedding aside, pressing the talk button as he did.

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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[personal profile] froodle
There were twelve pages, each one neatly numbered in the bottom left-hand corner. Simon had counted, recounted, flipped the edges of the calendar until the glossy card was soft and worn from constant thumbing. He was absolutely certain that there were only twelve.

And yet he never reached the final page. Every freshly-turned leaf revealed another month, another eleven pages arranged tidily behind it. He'd spent an entire afternoon flipping the stiff illustrations in slow fascination, but even after hours of carefully-measured turning, there was only ever one previous page between him and the front cover.

He supposed it might be a metaphor for something, some hint from the Queen of the Faerie about not being tied down by his past. Easy advice for ageless beings of eternal summer to dole out. Harder from a human perspective.

Or maybe he was over-thinking it. It could just be about storage space.

Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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[personal profile] froodle
Simon took the calendar down from it's hiding place on top of his wardrobe, sandwiched between the dusty particle-board and the cracked and sagging plaster of his bedroom ceiling, and opened it to the first page.

The first page always showed the current date.

He'd once left it up there for an entire summer - the same summer Marshall had spent in New Jersey, visiting his grandparents. When he'd finally seen the Teller's wood-panelled station wagon pull into the driveway next door, he'd taken it out to scratch out the days and found himself staring dumbfounded, at the entry for September.

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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[personal profile] froodle
The Queen of the Fae had once given Simon a faerie calendar, as a reward for his saving her kingdom from a vile scourge.

As the "vile scourge" in question was Simon's little brother, and Simon's "battle" had consisted of telling Harley that dinner was ready and that he should come home if he wanted to eat, he'd considered this a fair bargain.

The calendar looked like any other you might find at a gift store - glossy cardstock, printed images, national holidays bolded and underlined.

It was twelve pages long, and as far as Simon could tell, it covered eternity.

Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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[personal profile] froodle
The goblin market took place on the seventh Wednesday of the fifth month counting back from the last time the market was held. Apparently this was considered an easily-trackable unit of time in Faerie, where the days could pass in the blink of an eye or stretch on towards eternity depending on the mood of the person experiencing it.

Any humans who wanted to attend were encouraged to buy a calendar.

Marshall Teller checked and double-checked his calculations, tallied the crossed-out entries in his journal against newspaper articles on weird lights and mysterious disappearances, then checked it all over again.

Ongoing Verse: Trusted Associates Inc

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: Holmes Brothers

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[personal profile] froodle
"Back so soon, kid?" asked Billy Millions, glancing up from the freshly-shined chrome exhaust in which he was admiring his newly-trimmed beard. "You lose something?"

"No," said Marshall, whose arm was wrapped in hastily-applied gauze that smelled strongly of antiseptic. "I came to warn you that the Garbage Guys are planning to burn your clubhouse to the ground later today. You need to clear out your recycling now before they put the torch to all those old newspapers."

The Unkind One's leader gave him a long, considering look.

"Well," he said. "That's alarmingly specific, but I expect if you tell me any more, we'd be risking the collapse of the space-time continuum, right?"

"Right," said Marshall, then, "Wait, how did you-"

"I might have had this conversation before," said Billy Millions, rising to his feet with a creak of very tight leather clothing. "But I can't say more, because I'm bound by causality and my given word."

He turned towards the open door of the clubhouse and beckoned to someone inside.

"I also happen to have a ball of dino-proof twine lying around," he said. "Which you may have a use for, at some unspecified point in time."

Marshall gaped.

Ongoing Verse: Pay Attention

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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[personal profile] froodle
The second hand was the hardest. Finger-painting something that thin and fine, in oily prison crud, on bare skin, might have been manageable for Sara Sue, or even Syndi, but it was definitely beyond Marshall.

He picked up the sharp-edged rock, dragged it along the greasy build-up on the wall, and gritted his teeth as he pressed the jagged makeshift nib along his arm. It left a trail of black ooze and a thin white line that quickly welled with droplets of red.

Marshall pocketed the stone, stared at the crude drawing of a wristwatch.

The second hand moved, slightly.


Ongoing Verse: Pay Attention

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Ongoing Verse: Milkman

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Ongoing Verse: The Powers That Be

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